@%*#$@!

JASON: What about "breasts"? Can you say "breasts"?

ME: Sure, "breasts" isn't a swear word.

JASON: Yeah, but it's kinda... you know. What about "tits"?

ME: Hm. That's not on my list, but maybe it should be. It's pretty vulgar.

JASON: Or what about The Finger? What if you flip someone the bird? Can you do that?

ME: Uh. I don't really... maybe that should count as an "F" word.

JASON: No, it should be its own offense.

ME: Yeah, but how would I demonstrate it on my Cuss Counter?

JASON: Well, you just have a little sketch or icon of the middle finger sticking up.

ME: Uh-huh, just flipping off everyone who looks at it.

And later...

CAREY: So, that was the test? Whether you'd say it in front of the nieces and nephews?

ME: Yeah.

CAREY: I can think of a few words you probably shouldn't say around them that aren't on the list.

ME: Well, that's true. Like the "N" word. It's not a swear, but it's pretty lousy. Also, I probably wouldn't want to refer to anyone's "tits" in front of the little ones.

CAREY: Tt!! No kidding you shouldn't!!!