Spam Diviner at Large
What will future cultures think of us? What sort of mark will we leave on history? When the beginning of the 21st century is discussed by scholars and anthropologists, what pieces of evidence will be used to define us as a people, as a moment in time? Our books? Our film and television? Our architecture or monuments or methods of commerce?
No, my friend. They'll look at our spam.
And of spam I receive a lot... somewhere in the vicinity of 40-50 a day, in fact. I used to blame my wife, who used to be more liberal with handing out my address, but it's really not her fault. art@jeremybear.com happens to be the contact email of record for the domain names I own and that's just asking for trouble when it comes to spam spiders and ad robots.
Whatever, I don't read spam. Sometimes, though, a spam subject line will be so cryptically written that I can't resist: "The bacteria makes it even yellower, mother" or "She dialed for candles, Rupert, so stand down" or "Potato people probably". I'm always disapointed, of course.
And, for those who don't know, spamming is an artform. Most ISPs have some sort of spam filter, so spam writers have to come up with some sufficiently clever/random-sounding verbage to stick in the emails to make themselves sound like an old friend dropping you a personal note to elude the filters. The messages are completely non-sensical, but I'm beginning to think there's some sort of mysterious power behind them that I can't fathom. Take a spam I received yesterday for example:
Oh, sure, go ahead. Write it off as gibberish... but are you sure, faithful reader, that's all it is? Could it be some cryptic spell or rune, designed to worm into our very soul? Has the simple act of reading the above lines impregnated you with a sort of superconscience or identity virus? What is good and true and virtuous? Can you ever really know or HAS YOUR SPIRIT BEEN BLACKENED BY THIS DIABOLICAL INCANTATION?!
Spam is becoming our Stonehenge, our Egyptian pyramids. Millenia from now, our offspring's offspring with try to divine it to no avail.
So I blog! I blog in the hopes that others will blog on this issue as well! Maybe the hive-intelligence of the blogosphere will produce some sort of answer to our descendants to what all these spam messages are talking about!
We'll blog up a Rosetta Stone!
People have to know who we are and what we're about!
That's my sister Lauren over there, just pregnant as hell. So far everything's going well and I have to admit that I'm excited to be an uncle. Even if it's Uncle Jer in California, hey, I'll take it. Anyhow, she's pretty sick, no surprises there.
Erin is also doing much better and her morning sickness is just about over. Her third trimester is well underway, which means it's getting down to the wire. Still not definite on names, but they may be done pooling opinions.
Look, I realize baby updates may not be riveting reading for everyone, but I can't help it.
LET'S GO BABIES!
If you're in the area, drop by Kent State on October 4th. Mom's giving a talk to kick off Domestic Violence Awareness Week. Don't tell anyone, but she's a little nervous. If you know my mom, however, you know she'll be great.
And you really have to hand it to her. I could name-drop the talk show personalities that have been leaving messages in her voice mail in the attempt to sweet talk her into appearing, but I'll refrain. I think it speaks volumes, though, that she's said no to them all and yes to KSU.
Unfortunately, I can't make it. But if you do go, let me know how it went.
You know, I'm a die-hard Onion fan, but lately it's been wearing on me. It's the relentless assault on the Conservative Right that's getting really really tired. And please: "It's no worse than what they put Bill Clinton through" is poppycock. At the end of the day, Clinton was dang-near a hero for getting blown in the Oval Office in the eyes of the entertainment industry. There was a feeling of "good-natured ribbing" associated with his antics... with Bush, there's venom behind the jokes, much of it undeserved.
Anyhow, I'm to the point where I enjoy The Onion A.V. Club more than the Onion. Some genuinely thoughtful interviews and insightful reviews of popular media.
Take the latest installment, an interview with Errol Morris, documentarian fantastique. He begins by talking about his approach to documentary filmmaking and ends up saying something much more profound:
And then there are the segments that simply warm and tickle the cockles of my heart... in a recent feature, 10 Notorious Flops Worth Seeing, ranked near the top of the list was the greatest (and most unfairly maligned) movie of all time, Joe Vs. the Volcano.
Joe Vs. the Volcano fans, please: show yourselves. Declare your loyalty! You know genius when you see it! You've a fast friend in JeremyBear.com.
That's all for now. I'll leave you with the sweet sweet melodies of John Daker.
G'night.
No, my friend. They'll look at our spam.
And of spam I receive a lot... somewhere in the vicinity of 40-50 a day, in fact. I used to blame my wife, who used to be more liberal with handing out my address, but it's really not her fault. art@jeremybear.com happens to be the contact email of record for the domain names I own and that's just asking for trouble when it comes to spam spiders and ad robots.
Whatever, I don't read spam. Sometimes, though, a spam subject line will be so cryptically written that I can't resist: "The bacteria makes it even yellower, mother" or "She dialed for candles, Rupert, so stand down" or "Potato people probably". I'm always disapointed, of course.
And, for those who don't know, spamming is an artform. Most ISPs have some sort of spam filter, so spam writers have to come up with some sufficiently clever/random-sounding verbage to stick in the emails to make themselves sound like an old friend dropping you a personal note to elude the filters. The messages are completely non-sensical, but I'm beginning to think there's some sort of mysterious power behind them that I can't fathom. Take a spam I received yesterday for example:
| Sex and Meaning will provide knowledgeable insights into sex in politics, religion, entertainment (TV,There is usually quite a few minutes in between but he stays erect. On the later occasions his ejaculate is quite watery. He does not express any discomfort - infact quite the opposite. Is this normal? I just didn't realize guys could orgasm that many times in a short space of time. It almost seems too good to be true? I feel abit silly for asking, but just wondered movies, plays, books, music), health, business, sports, education, and elsewhere as reported in the media or experienced in the daily lives of participants in this forum. Blogging is a relatively new and evolving form of expression that represents freedom of speech, democracy, and Ever wonder how the universe could allow the existence of someone as annoying as your bratty little brother or sister? The answer lies in reproduction. If people - like your parents (ew!) - didn't reproduce, families would die out and the human race would cease to exist |
Oh, sure, go ahead. Write it off as gibberish... but are you sure, faithful reader, that's all it is? Could it be some cryptic spell or rune, designed to worm into our very soul? Has the simple act of reading the above lines impregnated you with a sort of superconscience or identity virus? What is good and true and virtuous? Can you ever really know or HAS YOUR SPIRIT BEEN BLACKENED BY THIS DIABOLICAL INCANTATION?!
Spam is becoming our Stonehenge, our Egyptian pyramids. Millenia from now, our offspring's offspring with try to divine it to no avail.
So I blog! I blog in the hopes that others will blog on this issue as well! Maybe the hive-intelligence of the blogosphere will produce some sort of answer to our descendants to what all these spam messages are talking about!
We'll blog up a Rosetta Stone!
People have to know who we are and what we're about!
That's my sister Lauren over there, just pregnant as hell. So far everything's going well and I have to admit that I'm excited to be an uncle. Even if it's Uncle Jer in California, hey, I'll take it. Anyhow, she's pretty sick, no surprises there.Erin is also doing much better and her morning sickness is just about over. Her third trimester is well underway, which means it's getting down to the wire. Still not definite on names, but they may be done pooling opinions.
Look, I realize baby updates may not be riveting reading for everyone, but I can't help it.
LET'S GO BABIES!
If you're in the area, drop by Kent State on October 4th. Mom's giving a talk to kick off Domestic Violence Awareness Week. Don't tell anyone, but she's a little nervous. If you know my mom, however, you know she'll be great.
And you really have to hand it to her. I could name-drop the talk show personalities that have been leaving messages in her voice mail in the attempt to sweet talk her into appearing, but I'll refrain. I think it speaks volumes, though, that she's said no to them all and yes to KSU.
Unfortunately, I can't make it. But if you do go, let me know how it went.
You know, I'm a die-hard Onion fan, but lately it's been wearing on me. It's the relentless assault on the Conservative Right that's getting really really tired. And please: "It's no worse than what they put Bill Clinton through" is poppycock. At the end of the day, Clinton was dang-near a hero for getting blown in the Oval Office in the eyes of the entertainment industry. There was a feeling of "good-natured ribbing" associated with his antics... with Bush, there's venom behind the jokes, much of it undeserved.
Anyhow, I'm to the point where I enjoy The Onion A.V. Club more than the Onion. Some genuinely thoughtful interviews and insightful reviews of popular media.
Take the latest installment, an interview with Errol Morris, documentarian fantastique. He begins by talking about his approach to documentary filmmaking and ends up saying something much more profound:
Truth exists independent of style. It involves all kinds of issues. Properly considered, it's a quest, a pursuit. To say that vérité is more truthful than something that is narrated is just misplaced. Completely wrong. And the fact that people still talk about it as though they're really talking about something... it puzzles me greatly. A moment of reflection about it tells you that it makes no sense! If someone tells you that George Bush is not the 43rd president of the United States, they might be engaged in wishful thinking, or denial, but if they make that claim, it's either true or false! And you can assess that, regardless of whether there's an omniscient narrator, or an unreliable narrator, or it's shot in vérité, or it's manipulated, it's agitprop, whatever! It makes no difference! It's a style!
And then there are the segments that simply warm and tickle the cockles of my heart... in a recent feature, 10 Notorious Flops Worth Seeing, ranked near the top of the list was the greatest (and most unfairly maligned) movie of all time, Joe Vs. the Volcano.
Joe Vs. the Volcano fans, please: show yourselves. Declare your loyalty! You know genius when you see it! You've a fast friend in JeremyBear.com.
That's all for now. I'll leave you with the sweet sweet melodies of John Daker.
G'night.
posted by Jeremy Bear at
5:12 PM
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