Totally self-indulgent Oscars post

Because you're the kind of person who reads blogs and because What Else Have I Got Going On?, screw it, I've decided to weigh in on this year's Oscars. Feel free to laugh at how wrong and silly my opinions are, come tomorrow night.

And the Nominees are...

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

Don Cheadle - HOTEL RWANDA
Johnny Depp - FINDING NEVERLAND
Leonardo DiCaprio - THE AVIATOR
Clint Eastwood - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Jamie Foxx - RAY

I think there’s really only one dead lock in this year’s Oscars (well, two if you count “Best Animated Feature”), and that’s Jamie Foxx winning Best Actor. I haven’t seen Ray, but I’m told he earned it. Whatever. Congratulations, Jamie. I’m secretly rooting for DiCaprio, but… ain’t gonna happen.

Oh, and the wife and I finally caught Million Dollar Baby. Let me tell ya: Clint Eastwood’s acting nomination is a joke. He was the weak point of the movie. Unfortunately, he’s Clint Eastwood, so let’s trot him out for every award possible.

And anyhow, where the heck was Jon Heder’s nomination for Napoleon Dynamite? I’m not kidding here. That kid was amazing.


ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Alan Alda - THE AVIATOR
Thomas Haden Church - SIDEWAYS
Jamie Foxx - COLLATERAL
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Clive Owen – CLOSER

I really like all these guys, but nobody delivered the slam dunk like Alan Alda and Morgan Freeman. Two great American actors and it’s a shame at least one of them has to lose. In the end, I’ll vote for Morgan.


ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

Annette Bening - BEING JULIA
Catalina Sandino Moreno - MARIA FULL OF GRACE
Imelda Staunton - VERA DRAKE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY
Kate Winslet - ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

I’m sure Hilary Swank will walk home with this one, and that’s a shame. I’d much rather see Kate Winslet win. Eternal Sunshine came out in February, so it’s a wonder it was remembered at all. It should have been in the Best Picture category. Ach. Go Kate.


ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR
Laura Linney - KINSEY
Virginia Madsen - SIDEWAYS
Sophie Okonedo - HOTEL RWANDA
Natalie Portman – CLOSER

I think I might be the only person in the world that wasn’t all that impressed with Cate Blanchett’s version of Katherine Hepburn in The Aviator. She seemed to be acting like someone making fun of Hepburn, rather than paying her tribute.

Give this to Natalie Portman, man. Didn’t see Closer, but Mike Nichols tends to pull the very best out of his actors and if her performance in Garden State was any indicator, Natalie’s a superstar.


ANIMATED FEATURE FILM

THE INCREDIBLES
SHARK TALE
SHREK 2

Please.


ART DIRECTION

THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

The Aviator was absolutely gorgeous, so that’s my pick. I have the feeling that I might have said otherwise if I’d taken the time to see A Very Long Engagement, though.


CINEMATOGRAPHY

THE AVIATOR
HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT

I’ve always been slightly foggy on the differences between Art Direction and Cinematography. I think Art Direction has something to do with how pretty a picture is painted in each frame of film and Cinematography has something to so with how beautifully those frames move and behave. Maybe not, but it sounds good to me.

I’m predicting that no one will want to touch the Passion hot potato, which is ridiculous. Passion’s my vote.


COSTUME DESIGN

THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
RAY
TROY

Man, I really have no idea. I have a sneaking suspicion that Finding Neverland will do well here tomorrow, but I’m sticking with The Aviator


DIRECTING

THE AVIATOR
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS
VERA DRAKE

No question, without a doubt, end of story. Martin Scorcese has never won a directing Oscar, and that’s a crime. It should be all his for The Aviator. Beautiful work.


DOCUMENTARY FEATURE

BORN INTO BROTHELS
THE STORY OF THE WEEPING CAMEL
SUPER SIZE ME
TUPAC: RESURRECTION
TWIST OF FAITH

I’ve only seen Super-Size Me and that was enough. Brilliant documentary and if you’re reading this you really need to go rent it.


DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT

AUTISM IS A WORLD
THE CHILDREN OF LENINGRADSKY
HARDWOOD
MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH
SISTER ROSE'S PASSION

I’ve no idea whatsoever. Short Subject Doc winners tend to be about afflicted people and discarded children, so… uh, the autism one seems to be a nice mix of both. Let’s do that.


FILM EDITING

THE AVIATOR
COLLATERAL
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY

All nicely edited films. Collateral’s editing kept everything good and tense, but Million Dollar Baby did the impossible and cut together something as messy as boxing matches, which is no easy feat. In the end though, there was not one dull moment in the expertly-paced Aviator, so that’s my pick.


FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM

AS IT IS IN HEAVEN
THE CHORUS
DOWNFALL
THE SEA INSIDE
YESTERDAY

Uh.


MAKEUP

LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
THE SEA INSIDE

Give it to The Passion, man. It must be a good job if, when you’re watching a film like that, you have to keep reminding yourself it’s only makeup. Astonishing work.


MUSIC (SCORE)

FINDING NEVERLAND
HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
THE VILLAGE

See, I never know with this category. Being musically retarded, I can’t gauge what’s great and what’s crap. They say, if it’s good, you shouldn’t notice it’s there. Apparently this also holds for bad music, because I just never notice.

That said, the music must’ve been pretty captivating if a film told exclusively in Aramaic held me in rapt attention. Again, I vote Passion.


MUSIC (SONG)

"Accidentally In Love" - SHREK 2
"Al Otro Lado Del Río" - THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
"Believe" - THE POLAR EXPRESS
"Learn To Be Lonely" - THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
"Look To Your Path (Vois Sur Ton Chemin)" - THE CHORUS

Ug.

Just don’t give it to that Polar Express steaming turd and I’ll be happy.


SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)

BIRTHDAY BOY
GOPHER BROKE
GUARD DOG
LORENZO
RYAN

No idea, man, haven’t seen any of them. But Gopher Broke – ha! That’s clever! Get it? “Gopher Broke?” Like “Go-Fer-Broke?” See? Get it? Get it?


SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)

EVERYTHING IN THIS COUNTRY MUST
LITTLE TERRORIST
7:35 IN THE MORNING
TWO CARS, ONE NIGHT
WASP

Again, no idea. I vote WASP because I, uh, am one.


SOUND EDITING

THE INCREDIBLES
THE POLAR EXPRESS
SPIDER-MAN 2

Incredibles! Incredibles! Incredibles!


SOUND MIXING

THE AVIATOR
THE INCREDIBLES
THE POLAR EXPRESS
RAY
SPIDER-MAN 2

Incredibles! Go! INCREDIBLES!


VISUAL EFFECTS

HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN
I, ROBOT
SPIDER-MAN 2

Probably the only category where I’ve genuinely seen every nominee. That said, these are all great choices. In the end, though, the gryphon in Harry Potter was probably the most convincing piece of CG I’ve ever seen.


WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)

BEFORE SUNSET
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES
SIDEWAYS

Have to go with Sideways. Alexander Payne is one of the finest talents working today. Not only does this film get my vote, I think it’ll win tomorrow as well.


WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)

THE AVIATOR
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND
HOTEL RWANDA
THE INCREDIBLES
VERA DRAKE

As much as I hate to vote against The Incredibles for any reason, Charlie Kaufman’s sublime Eternal Sunshine script deserves to win. In my opinion, it’s not just one of the great scripts of 2004, but one of the great scripts in film history.


BEST PICTURE

THE AVIATOR
FINDING NEVERLAND
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
RAY
SIDEWAYS

For the big kahuna, I’m confident the Academy will agree: this one belongs to The Aviator. Brilliant acting, direction, scripting, effects, pacing… it’s rare that so complete a package is presented in one film. I have no doubt that film schools will be studying this thing long after its producers are dead and gone.

But I have to say it: 2004’s greatest film wasn’t included on the list. Tough luck, Incredibles. You’d have gotten my vote anyhow.

So, I dunno. I guess we’ll see. I know I’ll be tuning in. If nothing else, it’s worth it to hear who gets the biggest applause during the “Who Died Last Year” montage.

Pat sans tumor

Thanks to those who offered prayers and encouragement. I talked to Dad last night and he assured me that the surgery went far better than expected. Dr. Jenison and Dr. Danesis were able to remove any and all things tumorous with very little complication. In fact, they even found a couple of risky bits while they were in there and removed those as well. I'd give further details, but I'm sure I'd botch them. Suffice it to say that the surgery was a howling success, Pat's recovering nicely and she'll likely be out of the hospital mid-next week.

Oh, and she'll likely do a bit of radiation in April, just to be sure.

So, BIG relief.

Way to go, Pat!

Pat and surgery

It's been a long and frankly awful road these last months with Dad's wife, Pat, and the cancer. The chemo was useless, leaving her and everyone close to her dizzied with frustration. Tomorrow is the big surgery to remove the unfazed tumor.

It's... well, it's a very big deal and it's not too dramatic to say that there's a lot at stake this time around. We're worried. Optimistic, but... there it is.

Just received this note from Dad:

Just a note to let you know that Pat's surgery is a go for tomorrow. She went to her doctor today to see if her cold would prevent her from having surgery, and he said that it was viral and should not have impact on her for surgery. She has her surgery at 8:00 in the morning as you know and the surgery should last anywhere from 4-8 hours depending on what they get into. It'll be a long day for sure for us.... and we're praying for skill and wisdom for Dr. Jenison and Dr. Danesis. And I think you know that she'll be at Akron General. I'll have my cell phone with me and I'll call as soon as Dr. Jenison comes down and talks with me.

Thanks for the prayers.

*** Note: It's midday on the 17th as I post this. (Blogger was acting up.) So, Pat should be in surgery as I type this. Sorry about the late update. Again, thanks for the prayers. ***

Valentine

Usually, I do this privately, but this felt like a public sort of year, and I really don't mind if the world knows how I feel.

That said...

Carey:

One thing I've learned in the last nine years, one Big Important Thing, is that life hands everyone an awful lot of uphill and a lot of scary and a lot of 'Who Am I?' and 'Why Am I Here?'. I suppose it's nice to have a beautiful wife to make the most of the time I have, but, more importantly, when the inevitable uphills lead to all-new scaries... when the Who Am I's and Why Am I Here's threaten to sink me... I've learned that the thing I've needed most is a good, good friend.

Not just someone who thinks a lot of me or somebody who'll stick by me despite the difficulties... but somebody who won't rest until they watch me cross the finish line. Not someone who's willing to look past my faults, but someone who wants to look at them, in the hopes that they'll know me better and find new opportunities to love me.

I told you on our wedding day that I admire you more than anyone and it's still true. Describing the joy I feel or the respect I have for your courage and character is like trying to catch the ocean in a teacup, but nevertheless: you encourage and inspire me. You remind me of who I want to be.

So, thank you. I love you. You've always been my good, good friend.

Sincerely,

Jer

@%*#$@!

JASON: What about "breasts"? Can you say "breasts"?

ME: Sure, "breasts" isn't a swear word.

JASON: Yeah, but it's kinda... you know. What about "tits"?

ME: Hm. That's not on my list, but maybe it should be. It's pretty vulgar.

JASON: Or what about The Finger? What if you flip someone the bird? Can you do that?

ME: Uh. I don't really... maybe that should count as an "F" word.

JASON: No, it should be its own offense.

ME: Yeah, but how would I demonstrate it on my Cuss Counter?

JASON: Well, you just have a little sketch or icon of the middle finger sticking up.

ME: Uh-huh, just flipping off everyone who looks at it.

And later...

CAREY: So, that was the test? Whether you'd say it in front of the nieces and nephews?

ME: Yeah.

CAREY: I can think of a few words you probably shouldn't say around them that aren't on the list.

ME: Well, that's true. Like the "N" word. It's not a swear, but it's pretty lousy. Also, I probably wouldn't want to refer to anyone's "tits" in front of the little ones.

CAREY: Tt!! No kidding you shouldn't!!!

Big applause for Ash Wednesday, everyone!-or-Let's give it up for Lent!

He probably doesn't know it, but there's something quietly inspiring about my brother-in-law, Steve Martin. He's a good guy and I found myself talking to him about the traditions of Catholicism over Thanksgiving, Lent in particular.

I've never had many inclinations toward Catholicism, but hearing Steve talk about it made me realize how many beautiful aspects there are to its liturgy. So... I decided then and there to give Lent a try.

I'll admit it: I'm cheating a bit. Traditionally, you're supposed to use your sacrifice to remind you to pray or consider the holiness of God and doot-doot-bebop-shoowop. I'll give it a go, but mostly I'm doing it as a sort of self-experiment: just how important to me is what I'm giving up?

But what should it be? Steve said it could really be anything... an aspect of your diet, a portion of your time, something you enjoy, even a bad habit you've developed.

So here it is: for 40 days and 40 nights, I'm giving up swear words.

I know, I know, "what's technically a swear word?" Well, I thought long and hard about it and came up with the answer: it's any word I would censor myself from saying around my nieces and nephews.

Anyhow, experiments like this are fairly useless without accountability, so cast your eyes in the upper-right to see my ham-handed attempt at staying honest: The Cuss Counter. Every single time I let something slip, I'll post a hit on the counter. Sadly, Ash Wednesday isn't even over yet and I've already started ticking away. Nonetheless, I'm going to do my very best. No spoken swears. No written swears, either. No singing along with songs containing swears.

Also, I've tried to order the Cuss list in, appropriately, descending order (by level of depravity). By the way, if you can't figure out what any of them are, ask anyone between the ages of 12 and 18. They'll be glad to fill you in.

So, wish me luck. If I know myself, this'll be one he-- erhm.. right. --one heck of a challenge.

Oh, and be sure to look me up on Easter Sunday. I'll be that enormously relieved-looking fellow letting fly with a litany of pure filth like you've never heard.

Que onda guero?

I want to reach that glory land.
I want to shake my savior's hand,
And I want to sing that rock and roll.
I want to 'lectrify my soul,
'Cause everybody been making a shout
So big and loud, been drowning me out.
I want to sing that rock and roll.


Well, mateys, it's official and it's in my greasy little hands: Furious Fist of the Drunken Monkey #2, with a very special backup feature illustrated by yours truly. My gaggle of copies arrived in the post on Saturday and what can I tell you? Rich gave me big-font credit on the inside front cover for my one, lame little page, which is much more than he had to do. Look for it on the shelf for the low, low price of $2.99.

And tell 'em Crazy Jer sent ya!
...


As I type, little bitty flakes of scabby skin are falling from my head.

Oh, I don't blame Blu, though. "Give me the juice," I told her on Saturday. "Bleach my head like it's never been bleached before. I want to be day-glow, sister! I want to be Long Beach's paunchiest albino! Make me sing, baby! Make me sing!"

So, after 45 minutes of the worst abuse ever inflicted on my poor scalp, Blu decided enough was enough and she rinsed out my hair. And it was bleached all right, but my head was raw and blistered.

Look, I know that the bleach bit isn't as en vogue as it once was, but I like it and Lord knows there isn't much in this world that I've been forced to suffer for, so, heck, I might as well begin with my coiffure.

So if you happen to see me on the street, feel free to remark, "love that flaming, damaged head!" but please: don't touch. It still kinda hurts.
...


A quick look through the Blogger archives and it looks like I've been sugar-free for exactly one year.

I initially thought that I could remain sugarless for two weeks and that would be that, but those weeks somehow mutated into a month, which, before I knew it, suddenly became a whole blessed YEAR. Frankly, I'm amazed at myself.

And the other weird thing is I'd grown more strict with it as the months passed. If sugar is an ingredient, no matter how far down the list... uh-uh. Get that poison away from me, chum. I've allowed a couple of indulgences (like barbecue sauce, though I'm ashamed to say it), but I've mostly stayed on the straight and narrow.

There've also been some What the Hells. My sister's apple pie at Thanksgiving. A half-slice of bread pudding on New Years Eve. Rarities.

Mainly, I don't know, I just feel better. I'm not as run-down. I sleep through the whole night. I've cut out a substantial amount of general jitteriness.

I'm hanging with it.
...


Oh, Beck released a new EP on iTunes. Go buy it, you squares.
...


I've gotten several notes from thoughtful people that enjoyed my One! Hundred! Sketches! feature, which made me smile. It's difficult to explain to non-bloggers, but there's a very unique *zing* that occurs when people stop to let you know that they enjoyed something you've posted into cyberspace. So, thanks for saying so, you.

Now get your own websites so I can heap blessings on your head!
...


That's all for now. Tune in tomorrow for A Very Special Announcement from JeremyBear.com.

Happy Fat Tuesday/Chinese New Year!

One! Hundred! Sketches!

103 actually, but who's counting?

I do a lot of artwork. Between finished drawings, paintings and digital media... concept sketches, stick doodles, and brainstorm thumbnails... personal projects and one-offs for loved ones... I did a quick estimate recently and thought it was fair to say that I probably produce something slightly shy of 1,000 drawings every year. That might be a bit high, but, then, drawing isn't just what I love to do, it also pays the mortgage.

Don't get me wrong, not every drawing is creative bliss. It's still work. Not to break out the violins, but I've found myself icing my hand on a few late afternoons. It ain't all roses Living the Dream.

In August, my company decided to switch to paper timesheets for the artists to track our time and projects for billing purposes (the digital method was wonky and fragile). So, I made a commitment to myself: I'd do a quick drawing on every timesheet, every day. Nothing elaborate, just something to remind me that, doggone it, I love to draw.

I was That Kid in high school. The one doodling while the more responsible kids were taking notes. Fortunately, I had encouraging teachers and parents, but there was something kind of sneaky about honing my craft while others were trying to be responsible. I miss those days.

So, anymore, Timesheet Art is the next best thing.

Yeah, it's pretty self-indulgent, but I decided that it was time for something new on the homepage (I think we're all finished with Christmas 2004, aren't we?). So, I've scanned my dumb little sketches for all to see. It's One! Hundred! Sketches! Go have a look if you like.

And yeah, the drawings aren't great. I like a few of them, but a lot of them are horrid. But, I don't know, I dig work that's rough and unpolished. It's kind of a chance to peek under the hood and see the inner workings.

Whatever. Hope you like.