Script-mania around here. Special thanks to Allison Dabbs of Marietta, Georgia (still coming through in the clutch after all these years) for suggesting the latest title: Industrial Gunk.

More titles! Anyone! Don't be bashful.

posted by Jeremy Bear 4:33 PM

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Something that's always bothered me deeply, but I've always felt like a flake for letting it get to me: watching a movie in a movie theater and, just as the final scene is wrapping up and you begin to hear the credits music swell... half the friggin' theater has gotten up to leave. By the time the first credit appears on the screen, everyone's standing up, blocking the view, noisily talking to one another... trying to "beat the crowd" out to the parking lot, as if it were the friggin' Rose Bowl or something. I've been to so many movies where the ending has been totally ruined for me because 50 losers feel the need to break their necks to make sure that they're out the door before they're forced to read the words DIRECTED BY ______... thus distracting from the rhythm and emotion of a good ending. All too many times, also, a "fake ending" before the actual ending will fool the crowd and, sure as eggs is eggs, a herd of morons will begin to stand up and mill toward the door, loudly exclaiming "oops, I guess it ain't over yet! Sit back down, Myrtle!"

Why the break-neck rush to get out of the theater? I imagine it has something to do with our 1.5-second-attention-span culture. Remote control in hand, poised and ready to flip-flip-flip as soon as the NCAA playoffs breaks for a commercial. Don't waste a single precious second of your life sitting there listening to the music, appreciative of the months and often years of hard work that went into producing the film you just saw. I know, I know... "I showed them my appreciation when I handed them my 8 bucks!" Yeah, yeah, okay, you got me there.

But, speaking of sports and leaving early, that's something else I've never understood. Sports events are usually even more pricey than movies... yet, all too often, the bulk of the crowd will take off in the middle of the 7th inning or in the middle of the 4th quarter if one team has a substantial lead... WHY? Is it really to avoid traffic? How could it be when EVERYONE else is doing the same thing? Is the only reason you went to the game in the first place to find out who would win? 50 cents will get you a newspaper for that information, buddy. Save yourself the 90 clams. ...The point of going to the game is to watch the game. Who knows what could happen? And even if nothing exciting happens, is it sweeter to get a jump start on waiting in your car for the next hour? The whole philosophy of "leave early when you've got the gist" grates on me.

But, back to my original point: leaving the movie right before the credits begin to roll. I've been utterly delighted to discover that, here in Southern California, audiences stay put right on through the credits. Yahoo! Maybe it's because movies are made in this town and everyone knows someone whose name is about to scroll by. Maybe people here aren't in as much of a rush. Maybe they have more of a sense of what goes into producing a film or have a higher respect for the artform and would like to experience it in its entirety. Either way, I like the credits too. Usually, I don't sit through ALL of them, but I often will if the people I'm with don't mind.

Anyhow, that's all. Just wanted to say thanks, California, for respecting the credits and consequently satisfying my psychosis.

posted by Jeremy Bear 2:06 AM

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Thursday, September 12, 2002

If you don't read this Blog, the terrorists win.

Not really. It's about 2:00 in the morning as I type this and I can't help but feel a bit over-saturated by the 9-11 media onslaught that's taken place over the course of the past 36 hours. Much of it is very moving and I really wasn't being insincere about yesterday's entry... but, I've topped out with this whole Anniversary of the Tragedy and I truly hope we can do our best to resume our lives, as a nation.

Crap, how shallow am I?

At any rate, I do get bothered by some of the shameless advertising, cashing in on the tragedy. "Keep America Rolling! Don't let Bin Laden and his evil henchmen keep you from heading on down to pick up a new Ford F150!" It's calmed down a great deal, but it still pisses me off. It reminds me of the old WW2 propaganda posters...

- Conserve energy or the Axis wins!
- Every time you don't use a condom, you're putting out for Hitler!
- Mussolini says: "Thanks for NOT buying war bonds!"
- Only Nazis refuse to carpool!
- Prevent another attack on Pearl Harbor... by lighting up a smooth Camel cigarette, soldier! Ten-hut!
- Not registering for the draft is like letting all of Japan rape your wife! Protect her honor... and yours!

Don't mind me. Doubtless I'll wake up tomorrow morning and feel terrible about my cynicism.

In the meantime, I'd like to say a very special Thank You to Gary Underwood of Akron, Ohio. Gary faithfully fulfilled his duty to Keep America Rolling by sending in a few title suggestions for the JeremyBear.com scripts page. You're one in a million, Gar. So, title by Gary, script by me, here it is: Remember the Dew.

And it's just that simple. Like Gary, you too can acheive literary immortality. Send your title suggestion for a Jeremy Bear script to: art@jeremybear.com.

Thanks, and goodnight.

posted by Jeremy Bear 2:18 AM

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Tuesday, September 10, 2002

In several hours, it'll be September 11, 2002. I wish I had something significant to say, but I don't. I suppose I could describe how I felt or where I was when I heard or how much I prayed or... something. But, I'd rather not. And there's nothing left to say that hasn't been said thousands of times over by those far more eloquent, who've lost and sacrificed far more.

Instead, as we hover in a state of national alert... mildly expectant of something that most of us know in our hearts will not happen... I find myself browsing several articles and inspirational poems and flash animations and short stories and paintings and drawings that were made in honor and outrage of that dreadful day. Some are hopeful, some heartbreaking. Some profound, some naive. Some beautiful, terrible, ridiculous, damning, inspiring, insulting... some are even hilarious. Some manage to be all of these. Or maybe none of these.

But, of everything I've read regarding the events of 9-11, a poem by British author Alan Moore has affected me the most. Rather than fumble about any longer, I'll post his words here. God Bless.

The other building falls.

I see a tower of dust, first outpost of Dust's empire, boiling up to take its place. Around me in the cough and the stumble, personal alarms are going off, an awful morning chorus.

Up ahead, through smoke, hauling somebody from the wreckage there's a fireman, but not one of ours. Wrong uniform. That big brass hat, that accent. "I'm all right, mate. There'll be blighters needin' worse 'elp, further on."

He's right. Beyond his rubble of red brick are fragments of a Baghdad mosque, the debris of a Japanese pavilion, smoldering Dresden embers. Voices, shouting through the choking pall in English, German, Arabic and Spanish.

I call out "Where are we?" and a woman turns towards me from the fog and smiling past her tears she says "We are in Guernica", and in my heart I know that this is true.

Guernica, where the sky fell first, this landscape black and gray with dust. Terrified horses and the wail of mothers. From the settling billows they step out to gather round me, to embrace me, kiss my brow and murmur soothing words. "Don't cry, my friend. Don't cry. We're all together now."


"Now we are all in Guernica."

- Alan Moore, 2001

posted by Jeremy Bear 5:13 PM

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Sunday, September 08, 2002

It's been 10 forevers since I've thrown another script on the grill and served 'er up hot. Sorry. Here's a mediocre treat for those who've been waiting: Erin Goes Braughhh.

A few people have asked me what the story is with the scripts I've posted on my scripts page. No, they're not full-length plays or movie scripts or anything inspirational. They're just little one-pagers I started writing every so often about a year ago to amuse myself and to keep my writing muscles limber. They have *no significance whatsoever*. I'm not trying to sell any of them. I'm not copyrighting any of them. I really don't even mind if people steal them and claim them as their own (on the contrary, I'd probably be a little flattered). They're not really a representation of me or my serious work or any of that, either. It just tickles me to do them.

"But what's the point?"

Uh. Well, I don't know. I think I was originally inspired by Sam Brown (of www.explodingdog.com... people email him words or phrases and he does a 10-minute stick-figure drawing based on the "titles" people send in... while simple and child-like, there's something mesmerizing about his little pictures and how he approaches each entry) and Scott McCloud (comic book scribe and theorist... author of the most intelligent discussion of the comics medium that's ever gone to press: Understanding Comics - buy it, especially if you have little interest in comics. You'll never look at Archie & Jughead the same again. But, I digress... McCloud also has a website in which his fans send in possible "titles" for comic strips and he'll choose the ones he likes best and draw a comic strip around the title suggestion. Since he works on it every day, he calls it "The Morning Improv").

Anyhow, I thought, well... if these guys can do it with stick-figures and comic strips... why can't I do it with scripts? I had the idea of having friends and family and acquaintances sending me possible titles for these surreal little oddments and I'd then write little 1-minute scripts around the title and post them somewhere. Since I don't exactly have what some might consider a clamoring audience, though, I've had to come up with all of the titles myself... and that's how it works, usually: a phrase or title will pop into my brain and I'll write a script around it. No pre-planning or plotting.

But, I suppose... for those who would like to suggest possible titles... send them in! You could be the proud parent of a Jeremy Bear original! My only request is that the titles be kept short and fairly abstract, if you're interested. Sometimes I try to make it a double-entendre or some other vain attempt at cleverness, but it's not a prerequisite. So, be a good lad or lass and kick those titles on over to art@jeremybear.com. You'll receive full credit next to your title if I use it, so don't worry about that.

Creative collaboration is most fun when it’s totally pointless, that’s what I always say.

posted by Jeremy Bear 6:13 PM

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