As the IRS looms dark and snarling, JB.com is here with mundane thoughts and peculiar links.

Stop reading this and mail your taxes in, dude. Seriously, you are really pushing it this year. Haven't you ever heard of planning ahead?
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And, bang on cue, just as I start my full-time gig, a couple of freelance calls come in, despite the fact that I've been consistently dry for over a month. Ain't that the way?

Speaking of my full-time gig, it's going okay, I suppose. It's really not much different than my part-time stuff, I'm just here more often. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.
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Um, Michael Chabon (who wrote the finest book I read in 2003) has done an interesting, not to mention timely, little essay on... well, censorship, I suppose, but the issues go far deeper. I'm not sure what I think of it. On the one hand, I feel as if he's missing something enormous, on the other hand, I feel as if it might be me who's missing something enormous.

Read it here and tell me what you think.
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What else.... oh. Personally, I think this article on eyeball jewelry has to be some sort of elaborate hoax, but, man... I don' t know. Check it out.
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And here's some truly incredible Photoshop work. I think it's supposed to be funny, but I'm just impressed with how seamless it is. Someone very talented apparently has oodles of free time on their hands.
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Finally, for those who haven't finished off their Easter eggs quite yet, here's a positively hilarious-yet-disturbing story about a church that was truly committed to teaching their congregation what Easter is really about.

I cringe.

posted by Jeremy Bear 9:56 AM

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Wednesday, April 14, 2004

I'd like to say whassup to Pops, sista-in-law, an' alla my newly-engaged niggaz homeboyz. Peace.

First of all, a big Welcome Home to Dad and his wife, Pat, who just returned from a glorious cruise. Just because I feel like spreading the love (though I'm not sure my dad even reads this blogger anymore, particularly after my rant on Republicans a few weeks ago...), here's their picture on the right. Clicky clicky to make it biggy biggy.

Second, a very huge (yet tentative) congratulations to everyone's favorite sister-in-law Kelly Biechler (who I'm positive doesn't read this blogger) on her carrying her fourth little bundle of love. She and husband Jim just found out. Blessings! Blessings! (By the way, I say "tentatively" because, sadly, I've opened my big, fat yap more than once about pregancies that either ended prematurely or were simply not meant to go public yet, forcing a hasty blogger-edit on my part. Here's hoping/praying for a healthy baby, Biechlers. Here's also hoping/praying that you don't mind my spilling the beans.)

Third, congratulations are in order for Kelley Larned, a good buddy who managed to dodge the inevitable over the weekend and actually convinced a lusty young lass to wed him. Her name's Carrie (always a good sign) and they're shooting for November. Kelley, I've rarely seen such a quick turn-around from datin' to fianceein', even in my Grace College days, but good luck. I'd recommend you go ahead and tell her about the flatulence issue now because, dude, she's gonna find out sooner or later.
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So, uh, what's up with Bush?

Man, I've been a fan through thick and thin, but what was with that horrid press conference last night? I'm usually content to proclaim "he's a good president, just a bad speaker" but, crap. That's some of the most artless issue-dodging I've ever seen.

Answer the questions, George! Sheesh!

I'm afraid, I really am, that semantics alone are going to lose this election to the spineless spin-doctoring of John Kerry. Personally, I think all of the reasoning behind the apparent flubs and foibles surrounding the invasion of Iraq is legitimately explainable... so why won't he explain it? Gnagh!

"Mister President, in what ways could the War on Terror and/or the invasion of Iraq have been handled better, in retrospect?"

"Well, I believe America will stand behind me. We're gonna stay the course."

"Y-yes, well, I see, but do you feel that any of your critics' opinions are founded? Are there areas that, looking back, could have been improved?"

"America stands for freedom. Freedom for you, for me, for Americans, and freedom for the Iraqi people."

"...I... okay... but, what could have been--"

"We're gonna stay the course. Next question."

posted by Jeremy Bear 3:57 PM

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Monday, April 12, 2004

...and then YOU say "He is risen indeed."

My dear, dear mother and sisters flew out to Long Beach for Easter weekend, bless 'em, bless 'em.

For some reason, though, the sun rarely saw fit to shine. It was frustrating: no, really, guys, I swear, Southern California really is beautiful when... er... you're not... here.... uh.

Nonetheless, it was great to see them. Didn't plan anything spectacular, just did a bit of visiting. A little shopping at IKEA, a little touring around Hollywood, a little eating out, a little church, a little Easter ham.

But you forget things when you live on the other side of the country. Well, maybe not forget, but... Hooah, do my sisters ever hee-ave thee-at midwest ee-accent. Did they always talk that way? Is that how I sound to people here in California? (It must not be far off... a co-worker did an impression of me recently and I apparently sound like a character straight outta Fargo... "Ah, geez. I'll never get these designs finished in time, y'know. Ah, geez.")

Easter was a fine little time. We went to church at Revolution Church in Long Beach. It was fine, I suppose. I shouldn't be surprised if we find ourselves visiting again. The down side, though, was it felt like a high school youth group. Between the interpretive mime-dance, the "hardcore-edgy" literature, the electric guitars and the pastor that managed to squeeze in one too many MTV references... I dunno. At least they're trying to break the stuffy-mold, but this church went so far the other way that it came off as a bit desperate.

Invited an old high school friend of sister Lauren's down for Easter dinner, as she and her husband happen to live up in Culver City (which is a scant 30-40 minute drive from Long Beach). Nice folks. Josh (the husband) is an actor and he's actually doing pretty well up there in the land of glitz and glam. As it turns out, we both know Ben Bays (small Hollyworld, I guess).

All in all, a good visit with the family. No major developments to report, but I would like to get home for a visit later in the Summer.
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So, I placed third in a pseudo-essay contest. Don't get excited, though, because the contest involved writing a short description on "Why I'm a Loser." The winners (or losers, apparently) get a free collected edition of a comic book series called, appropriately, The Losers.

I'd heard some good reviews on the series, so I decided, what the heck, I'll send 'em the Jay Leno story. I embellished it enough to make myself sound extra-loser-ish and... well, I got some free comics out of it, I guess.

I'm afraid I'm not going to post a link to the contest or the winning entries because, speaking honestly, it's the most depressing collection of stories I think I've ever read and, trust me, you don't need the grief. Suffice it to say that the humiliation/benefits of my Tonight Show fiasco continue to roll in.
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Well, it's official. I'm a full-time company man. Not only that, but I'm way exhausted. Phew. I'd nearly forgotten what a full-time week felt like. My new 7:30-5:30 schedule doesn't exactly help matters, either. For some reason, my energy was much more boundless when I was permitted to do client work unshaven and in my underwear two days a week.

(If you're a client reading this, don't worry, I'm kidding. I'd never do serious work in my underwear.)

(If you're a friend or family member reading this, you probably know me well enough to know that, alas, I'm not kidding.)

(If you're a client, forget you read that last parenthetical comment.)

posted by Jeremy Bear 3:16 PM

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