Hola, amigos. I prefer to submit Blogger entries just after everyone gives up on me ever writing another one. What a lazy git I am and, truly, what gall I have to come sniveling back.

But hello.

I'm not going to attempt to catalogue all that's gone down in the last, zounds, month or so because it's far too much. My mom visited and we had a wonderful time. Care and Mom threw a surprise-that-wasn't-exactly-a-surprise party, just a humble get-together with a few friends. We've been bitten by the IKEA bug (two trips in the course of a month... one of which we bumped into one of the ER actresses [Weaver-the-crippled-boss-whatshername] midway through shopping). I've been doing more work than a sane man could or should shake a stick at. Um...

Oh, before I forget: I've mustered up another script. Shelby Birdwell's prodigious imagination sired this beauty: Avid Indoorsman. Based on a real-life conversation I overheard at the Laundromat. Be very afraid.

And, speaking of writing, more scripts, more shorts, more of everything. More circuses, that's what people want! Well, I'm doing my best to deliver. Details as details materialize.

Um, see X2 if you haven't already. It's really, really good. Carey and I are going to check out Matrix: Reloaded this afternoon and I honestly doubt it will live up to X2. I'm serious here.

And gosh! Long-time JerBear.com Blogger readers will remember a pregnancy announcement by my dear, dear friends in North Carolina, Jon & April Schweitzer. Jon promised to send pics of the developing April in exchange for my posting them here. Well, that was a wash... never did get those pics... but, the baby was born successfully on May 6th and her name is Ruby. The Schweitzers have started a blog of their own at www.schywyzen.net/babygirl, but it's password protected and I don't want to risk the wrath of the old Schwyzens by publishing it here. (Because who knows what could happen if some madman saw (sh-shudder) baby pictures online. Best to protect ourselves and each other from homicidal psychopaths who need only use a glimpse a mom and newborn in hospital garb as an excuse to begin a dramatic rampage of abduction and infanticide. Good call, Schweitzers.)

But, you know, since they are my good friends and since loyalty tends to run thicker than sarcasm, I've decided to peel their pictures off their site myself and display them here. No, no, Schweitzers, thank you.

Jon & April Schweitzer's Baby-o-Rama
	This is baby Ruby. She's far more attractive than many newborns I've seen. (Babies like to be manipulated by large, adult hands... in this picture, Ruby enjoys the delights of callused fingers against her own unspoiled flesh.)
	A full-body "pinup" pose in which Ruby shows off her belly-button clamp. Fun Fact: Did you know that newborns have no bones or internal organs? Instead, they're filled with a mustard-colored cottage-cheesy substance called barbacoa. The belly-button clamp prevents the child's barbacoa from leaking out of the stomach, giving him or her time to develop vital organs like kidneys, a spleen, and a fully-functional adam's apple, followed by the skeletal system and, eventually, facial hair.
	Ruby's middle name is "Reagan" (named for Ronald Reagan, an American actor. He's probably best known for portraying Prof. Peter Boyd in the 1951 film Bedtime for Bonzo.)
	Essentially tells the same story as pictures 2 and 3, so I'm not altogether sure why it was included. Please disregard.
	This is Ruby and her mom (my friend April Schweitzer). Here, April is describing the Christian Plan of Salvation to her little one. "Pretty baby, lovely baby. Pray to Jesus, little one. Smile for Mommy. Salvation is a free gift, sweetie. Don't you want to go to heaven? Little cutie? Mommy's little sinner, yes you are. Lovely baby..."
	And here's Ruby with her dad, my very dear friend Jon "Schwyzen.net" Schweitzer. Jon mentioned to me that Ruby looks just like him and I tend to agree. (Jon is the one wearing jeans.)
	This is the hand that will give Jon and April the finger about 16 years from now, owing to an inevitable disagreement about Ruby's lack of responsibility with her parents' car.
	About a week after she was born, Ruby went missing for a good hour and a half. After looking virtually everywhere, her parents had all but given up hope. Fortunately, Jon suddenly remembered placing her in a flower bush to take a nap outside a Sunoco station while he ran a few errands. A relieved April snapped this pic when they found her, still sleeping peacefully, just where Jon had left her. Phew!

And that's really all for today. Thanks for tuning in.

posted by Jeremy Bear 10:46 AM

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