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Wednesday, January 04, 2006
I'm beginning to look a lot like Christmas New Year's
Huh! Happy New Year, I guess!
Item the First:
After roughly a year of going hair-cut-free, I'm cropped and crimson. A little something for the holidays, you understand. Also, after, what, seven years? of the same ol' scratched pair of specs, Carey treated me to an early Christmas gift in the form of new glasses. I'm a new man in every way.
A little before and after:
and
Probably a smart move, don't you think?
Item the Second:
What a haul with the Christmas loot!
Fine, fine merchandise filled my stocking, not the least of which was technology-related, thanks to Care and Dad, who came through with a new Razor phone and digital camera, respectively.
The digital camera is a smart little Olympus with some pretty beefy resolution and modest video capabilities. To say my need for this device was dire is an understatement.
The Razor... what can I tell you? Truly a thing of beauty.
Who's that cat walkin' my way with the slick designs and the Bluetooth wireless?
It's Jeremy! Jeremy!
A couple of pics:
A photo of my new digital camera, taken by my Razor phone.
A photo of my Razor phone, taken by my new digital camera.
Item the Third:
About a month ago I finished a project that's way more time-consuming than it looks. A web-ad for a product that's no longer Top Secret called the "MoGo Mouse" which is a legitimately cool wireless mouse for laptops that stores and charges in any laptop's PCMCIA slot. Simple and fairly ingenious, it's already getting a lot of press.
Anyhow, the "MoGomercial". Script by Steve Webb and Drew Mehl. Music by Charlie Hickman. Art, animation and narration by me.
Look.
(Oh, and bonus points if you can spot my Christ-like cameo.)
Item the Fourth:
If the visual style of the MoGomercial looks familiar, it's because I began work on our Christmas card the day after the project wrapped. Listen, it's not easy to switch gears. Honest.
Thanks to those who wrote to say they enjoyed the card. I'm going to reply to you shortly. Apologies for taking so long.
By the way, more than a few asked if the story was true. It really never occurred to me that people might think we'd actually been robbed by a homeless Santa. Sorry, should have included a disclaimer. But put your fears to rest, loved one: Carey and I weren't the victims of any Yuletide robberies. (That's not to say we've never been robbed here in Long Beach... we have. But never in our current building, which has a pretty formidable security system.)
Also, a conversation I found myself having more than once, regarding the card's artwork:
THEM: Nice job on the card! Funny!
ME: Oh, thanks. It's a chunk of work to do these things, but it's worth it when people mention that they enjoyed it.
THEM: Yeah. By the way, I never knew you were so good at drawing likenesses! That looked exactly like you and Carey!
ME: Thanks. Hooray for photo references!
THEM: What do you mean?
ME: Well, you know. All of the pictures started out as photographs we took. I just drew from the photos.
THEM: Oh. Hm.
ME: Yep, just took the photo, composed them onscreen, printed them out, lightboxed 'em, scanned in the drawings... voila.
THEM: "Lightboxed"?
ME: Yeah, a lightbox is a box with a glass top and a florescent light inside. I put my photo printouts and drawing paper on top to do the art.
THEM: So, you traced it?
ME: Kind of. Certain details are made up on the fly while drawing. But yeah.
THEM: Ah. Well, that's cool I guess. I just thought you actually drew it.
ME: I did...!
THEM: Yeah. "Traced." Well, it fooled me anyhow!
ME: ...
THEM: But you did write the poem part of it, didn't you?
ME: Yeah.
THEM: Yeah. So that part was original. Very cool.
ME: ...
Item the Fifth:
Remember Josh's contest? Turns out I'm a double-winner.
Man, I'll bet you wish you'd entered!
Thanks, Josh. Akron pride is alive and well in Long Beach. By the way, if you happen to be reading, the shirts arrived minty-fresh and well before Christmas! Nice work!
Item the Sixth:
Speaking of Christmas cards, I'd be remiss if I didn't throw a link to Kent Currie's very silly Holiday greeting. The kid went above and beyond and he deserves a shout.
(And if you don't happen to know him, you might think he's hamming it up for the camera. Trust me, he's not. That's really Kent, unfiltered and uncensored.)
Funny, dude, and very original. How you ever came up with the idea of a Christmas eCard featuring you sitting on a couch spouting clever little tidbits with Charlie Brown music playing in the background is beyond m-- wait a minute.
KENT!!!!
Item the Seventh:
A taste of my Christmas shopping fun!
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: Unfortunately, we're out of fondue sets, but we'll probably have more in after the holidays if you want to get your wife a gift certificate instead.
ME: Yeah, I guess I'll do that. I'll take a gift certificate for $50, then.
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: All right, let me print one out and we're all set. Sorry again about that.
ME: No, no, don't worry about it.
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: Okay, sign here. And, this gift certificate is good through December 2006.
ME: Hah?
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: You can use this gift certificate any time throughout the coming year. It won't expire until the end of December, 2006.
ME: Aha. And... what happens when it "expires"?
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: Well, you know. That's it. It's no longer good.
ME: Gift certificates can expire?
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: Of course.
ME: So, if I come back here in January of 2007, I'm out of luck.
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: Eh, yeah.
ME: But you'll still have my $50.
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: It's for tax reasons. We need to know what year to claim the sale.
ME: Well, wouldn't you claim it this year, since I'm giving you the money now?
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: No, it's more complicated than that. It's pretty standard to put an expiration date on gift certificates.
ME: You sure?
VINTAGE SHOP GUY: Oh yes.
and
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Okay, your total comes to $47.67. How's your Christmas shopping coming?
ME: Oh, I'm done. Just getting a few stocking stuffers for my wife.
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Aw. Will this be credit or deb-- oop, you only got one of these makeup cases.
ME: Yeah?
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Yeah, they're on special. It's... never mind, I'll go get you another one.
ME: Oh, okay... what's the special?
BODY SHOP CASHIER: It's "buy one, get the second for 1/2-off."
ME: I see. That's okay, one's fine.
BODY SHOP CASHIER: No, it's a really good deal. It would be kind of dumb to only buy one. It's fine, I'll go get it.
ME: No. Really. I'm just... one's good.
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Oh. Are you serious?
ME: Yeah. Maybe if it were free, but--
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Half-off, that's like 9 dollars.
ME: Mm.
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Too much?
ME: Too much!
BODY SHOP CASHIER: Oooo-kay...
ME: TOO MUCH!!!
and
STARBUCKS GUY: What can I get for you?
ME: Just a gift card.
STARBUCKS GUY: No problem. How much?
ME: Anh, ten bucks.
STARBUCKS GUY: Okay, ten dollars, and here you go. Anything else for you tonight?
ME: No, just one question: when does this expire?
STARBUCKS GUY: What do you mean?
ME: This gift card, when, like... is this good forever?
STARBUCKS GUY: Yeah, of course. At any Starbuck's.
ME: So, if, say, two years from now...
STARBUCKS GUY: Absolutely. It's like cash. We're not going to run away with your cash and say, "too bad!"
ME: Right! Exactly! It's cash! Gift cards and gift certificates shouldn't expire!
STARBUCKS GUY: And not only that, it's illegal for stores to put expiration dates on gift cards. It was a bill in Congress for awhile and it passed recently. Gift cards are good forever.
ME: Congress... I knew it! I was lied to today!
STARBUCKS GUY: Really?
ME: Hoodwinked!
STARBUCKS GUY: You bought a gift certificate and--
ME: They told me I had one year... or else!
STARBUCKS GUY: Hnh. Well, next time you're in there, you let them know.
ME: Oh, don't you worry about that, I'll tell 'em. Thank you, Starbucks!
STARBUCKS GUY: You're welcome!
ME: Merry Christmas... AND GOD BLESS YOU!!
Item the Eighth:
In keeping with tradition, here's the first sketch of the year. Can you guess the hidden meaning?
Surprise! There isn't one!Labels: dialogue
posted by Jeremy Bear 8:28 PM
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